A. James Editing, Inc.

According to Webster’s, a survivalist is “a person who advocates or practices survivalism” or “one who has prepared to survive in the anarchy of an anticipated breakdown of society.”


Being a freelance creative won’t necessarily prepare you to survive a natural disaster or societal meltdown (though I’m positive we have some transferable skills), but it will enable you to take control of your income.


Yeah, yeah, we’ve all heard the term “starving artist.”


And conventional wisdom tells us that being a freelance anything is dangerous because you never know how much money you’re going to make in any given month.


This is only partially true, and far more alarmist than it needs to be.


As freelance creatives, we have the power and the privilege to steer our own careers and set earning goals that could change every month if we chose.


We, not our passive-aggressive supervisors or the faceless CEO of the company, have the power to give ourselves raises, take 20 weeks of vacation per year, work remotely from anywhere on the planet, and climb our industry ladder as quickly, or not at all, as we see fit.


Our position is unique too, in that we can change the course of our business or work as quickly as our personal and client needs dictate. What’s easier, turning your car around or turning it around while a trailer’s hitched to the back?


We just have less baggage, less bureaucracy and way more flexibility in every aspect of our business.


Is being a freelancer really all roses, rainbows and sunshine, as you say?!


Hell no!


Being a freelance creative is hard work and sometimes we don’t make our monthly earning goals. C’est la vie.


But we don’t do it because it’s easy.


We do it because we love it.


We do it because it’s our right livelihood.


We do it because we wouldn’t want it any other way.


We know what to do and where to go to make our dreams come true. We’re certainly not islands, but we each produce enough of our own natural resources, to at least be self-sustaining.


That’s why being a freelance creative is like being a survivalist.


Because we have the skills to survive and thrive, regardless of the economy. Unfortunately, wage earners are not always so fortunate.

Piggy-backing on the last blog post about a good intention gone horribly awry, I’d like to share some conversational wisdom (that is, wisdom about conversations) as penned by Douglas Stone, Bruce Patton, and Sheila Heen in Difficult Conversations: How to Discuss What Matters Most


So, when we’re having a conversation with someone and we think we’re just discussing the facts of an event/process/document, the person we’re talking to might actually be hearing condescension or blame.


Very tricky.


According to the trio, what we say is only the surface of what’s going on for us while there are underlying, insidious feelings and intentions lurking in the depths that we are most likely unaware of. Knowing what these feelings are and how to address them in ourselves and others is key to having more success while navigating difficult conversations.


Here’s the highlights:


The 3 kinds of difficult conversations:


1) The “What Happened?” Conversation

These are the conversations where we try to figure out who’s right (and consequently, who’s wrong), who meant what, and who’s to blame–truth, intention, and blame.


2) The Feelings Conversation

You can’t just push your feelings about a person, a comment, or a situation aside. Sure, you want to keep it professional and not come off as a wuss, but feelings affect the way we interact with people and how we respond to every situation. It’s important to address them in order to avoid potential miscommunications or tension in future dealings.


3) The Identity Conversation

This conversation is all about who we are and how we see ourselves. Anytime a conversation feels difficult, it’s in part because we feel it’s somehow about us; that something personal is at stake. What does this conversation mean about your professionalism, your self-image, your abilities?

This is what my co-conversationalist had going on while I was having the “What Happened?” conversation I mentioned in my last post. She felt personally threatened by what I was saying whereas I felt I was just laying out the facts.


Now you know there are different levels of conversation that can be going on at any given time between you and the person you’re talking to.


How should you deal with this realization?


Should you rehearse everything you say to a co-worker or spouse prior to saying it just to make sure you don’t offend them?


Maybe.


Emotional intelligence is important in any kind of interaction–personal or professional. Being aware that the person you’re talking to may not be having the same conversation you are is the important first step in having better interactions with the people in your life.


Check out the book if you think you could benefit from what it has to say in much more depth than I went into here.


Happy chatting!


(No pressure.)

We’ve all done it.


Whether we meant to or not (most likely not), we’ve offended someone with our words.


This can be pretty awful in general, but when you write for a living, it can be even worse. So let me tell you what happened.


I’m on the email list of this organization in Portland that does a lot of good work around promoting businesses and jobseekers in the Portland Metro-SW Washington area.


They sponsor events, post jobs and are a general, all-around excellent resource. The organization has one employee and I’ve met her a few times. I’d say we have a casual, professional relationship…or so I thought.


After receiving the latest installment of their e-newsletter, I caught a few typos. It’s my job to notice these things and correct them, after all.


So I email this woman that I already have a good relationship with, and say something vague like, “After reading the newsletter, I see some places where I can make a contribution to your organization.”


Ok. Sounds non-threatening, right?


She responds with, “Interesting. How so?”


This says to me that she’s not interested in subtleties (did I mention that she’s a one-woman show?) and wants me to get right to the point. Great! Totally respect that. So I say,


“I found a few typos in the newsletter and I was wondering what kind of editing/proofreading support you have because I would love to volunteer my time to help with that.”


I think I sent that email on a Thursday. I didn’t hear back from her later that day…or Friday…or Monday…or Tuesday…and her organization was sponsoring an event on Wednesday.


At first I thought she was probably just busy organizing the event, but then I got to thinking that she may have taken offense to my email. Hmm…


After the event on Wednesday, I approached her, gave her a hug, and immediately apologized in case she was offended (which I had every faith she wouldn’t be).


She was.


She said my email sounded condescending and implied that she was incompetent.


Wow.


I tried to apologize again, but she interrupted me by thanking me for bringing it up (hinting at her lack of response to my email?) and that she would prefer to talk about it later because she wanted to go talk with other people.


Um…ok.


Upon arriving home, I sent her an apologetic email and said what a great big misunderstanding this has all been. I sent that email last Wednesday. Today is Monday and I have yet to receive a response.


There probably was a way to work with her and this organization, but it seems to me that she takes great pride in being the only person doing all the hundreds of things she has to do, and is not interested in unsolicited assistance.


That’s just how some people roll.


To be honest, I’m glad this little miscommunication occurred. If it hadn’t, I could have been working with someone who, just below the surface, was not someone I wanted to be working with.


No matter how well we craft our messages, no matter how much time it takes us to write something that we think all will enjoy and none will take the “wrong way,” someone will always get offended.


So what do you do?


Curl up in a ball and apologize over and over again to deaf ears?


Spend the rest of your professional career in agony of meeting that wronged person who acts as a mirror reminding you of all your inadequacies, snobberies and mistakes?


I suppose you could.


That’s not what I would do, but you could do that.


I blogged about it instead. And I learned from it.


I learned that some people prefer to take offense than a helping hand; that one person wants never to hear from you again while someone else, reading the exact same message, is grateful to you for sending it because it’s a breath of fresh air in their month. (A colleague on my email list actually said this to me.)


Prior to this event, I happened to find a typo on a very popular freelancer website and I mentioned it in an email to them as a postscript.


The result?


They thanked me for catching the mistake and changed it right away! And they offered to refer me work when compatible projects came up. This kind of thing doesn’t happen to people who live their lives curled up in a ball.


So what I can offer you today is this:


Learn from those who are offended, and focus on how to communicate better with those who are grateful. They’re the ones you’ll want to work with.

I just stumbled across this video and I just wanted to share it with everyone I can get my hands on. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do.

I am just returning to my blog after a very extended holiday season. As WordPress has been very good about informing us and as many seasoned bloggers already know, if you want your blog to be seen you have to blog…often. I have broken this cardinal rule and I must now pick up the pieces.

For awhile I was blogging everyday and then I went home to Minnesota for the holidays and all my good habits vanished. I woke up late, spent my days lounging with family and friends and completely neglected my website. When I returned home to Portland, I spent my time focusing on my work. Though that should have included keeping my website fresh, it didn’t. I return to it now with due diligence. I hope my viewers, few as they may have been, will not begrudge me my absence and continue to visit my site.

Good afternoon, good evening and good night.

Amber