So, I was at a networking event this morning and one of the attendees was a travel agent. She stood up and told us that she’s planning trips to Peru and Africa and that Africa is her specialty. She used to live there and, I quote,

“I know the language in Africa.”

…(clears throat) Now, I’m not a bad person and nor would I consider myself a snob, though I know a few people who would argue that, and I can’t help it if my right eye twitches involuntarily, just a little, every time someone says things like this. It doesn’t mean I’m judging them, but it does mean I’m mentally reconstructing their sentences into a form that is grammatically, socially, and literally correct.


Everyone in the room understood what she was trying to say, but that doesn’t make the statement any less inaccurate. Here’s a few things I’d like us all to review about Africa:


1) It is a continent
2) There are about 54 countries within it
3) An estimated 1500 languages are spoken on the continent that is Africa (According to Wikipedia.)


As a copywriter, these are the kinds of inconsistencies and falsities that I correct on a daily basis. Yes, it’s my job to correct such things when they are written, but I have no control over the way you speak. You’re on your own there, people.


So go forth, and for the love of all that is wonderful and wordy, speak good.

At the very beginning of the exhibit, the last words spoken by Gene Cernan, the last man to step on the moon, are written large on a wall. This is what is written on the poster:

This is Gene and I’m on the surface and as I take man’s last step from the surface, back home for some time to come–but we believe not too long into the future–I’d like to just say what I believe history will record. That America’s challenge of today has forged man’s destiny of tomorrow, and as we leave the Moon and Taurus-Littrow, we leave as we came and God willing as we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind. Godspeed the crew of Apollo 17.

You can read it as many times as you like and you still might have difficulty. It’s true that people do talk like this, improvised and uncut, but that’s where a skilled copywriter comes in with the skills and knowledge to either create an excellent piece of copy from scratch or, as would have been the case with this quote, rewrite copy to be more easily read without sacrificing the meaning of the original document.

With my copywriting powers combined, this is how I would have rewritten Gene’s quote:

This is Gene and I’m on the surface [of the moon]. As I take man’s last step from the surface, back home for some time to come, I’d like to just say what I believe history will record: that America’s challenge of today has forged man’s destiny of tomorrow. And as we leave the Moon and Taurus-Littrow, we leave as we came and, God willing, as we shall return, with peace and hope for all mankind. Godspeed [to] the crew of Apollo 17.

Gene’s speech is still a little choppy, but those are his spoken words after all. What I did was utilize various forms of punctuation to force readers to pause and allow the text to move forward smoothly. The exhibit goes until May 31, 2010.

Much thanks to the BBC for bringing us this important news, but may I offer a soft critique? Hire another proofreader. The few that you have missed some key things in this article.

The three things that I found were the placement of abbreviations, lack of consistency in comma usage and simple grammar. I’ll outline the errors in that order.

The International Monetary Fund is mentioned twice before the abbreviation, IMF, is given. It is common practice in any kind of writing, whether it be thesis, book or online news article, to give the abbreviation immediately after the term first occurs so the writer can then use the abbreviation throughout the rest of the article instead of having to retype the entire term (this might be more important in print media as space per article is very limited).

There are two instances when the author of this article could have used a serial comma (placing a comma after every item in a list) or not. The author used a serial comma the first time, but not the second. Using one over the other is not necessarily right or wrong, but having a lack of consistency in your usage is definitely not professional. Serial comma usage:

The measures include rises in sales taxes, a cut in holiday bonuses paid to civil servants, and a pensions freeze.

No serial comma usage:

Rises in taxes on fuel, cigarettes and alcohol

The last item I noted was a simple grammatical blip; a matter of the word “a” versus the word “an”. In the following case, “An” would be the correct word to use.

A increase in sales tax from 19% to 21%

Good luck to the Greeks in sorting out what is both best for the people and for the future of the country.

We paid for the message and walked back to the inn. Harris was there and the three of us walked up to Roncesvalles. We went through the monastery. ‘It’s remarkable place,’ Harris said, when we came out.

No, Harris, it’s not remarkable place. A remarkable place, perhaps, but remarkable place, never.

Are you taking notes Simon? Schuster?

True to form, I found an error in this copy. It’s not a typo this time but a matter of a comma that could have been employed to make this sentence read a little easier.

Attorneys for both the 32-year-old St. Paul man as well as the victims’ families say they’re encouraged by the evidence that the problems went beyond models that originally were recalled.

I would have added a comma after “families” like this:

Attorneys for both the 32-year-old St. Paul man as well as the victims’ families, say they’re encouraged by the evidence that the problems went beyond models that originally were recalled.

That’s all.

The one thing I didn’t like, or more specifically, the three things I didn’t like, were…you guessed it! Typos! I found three of them upon the first read. Who knows what a more detailed look would reveal. I’ll list one of the three. It occurs on page 264 in the second paragraph:

It wasn’t enough to want all women; he wanted Catherine be all women to him.

Whether this is Goolrick’s blunder and it went uncorrected by the proofreader or someone else deleted the word “to” between “Catherine” and “be” we may never know. But this much I know is true, someone allowed this blunder to make it into print.

Much had been made about of Plushenko’s transition scores, the mark given for the steps connecting the elements, as well as his other component scores — think the old artistic marks.

Had much been made “about Plushenko’s transition scores” or “of Plushenko’s transition scores”? You’ve got to choose one or the other…unless of course you don’t want to have a perfect sentence. Your choice.

Or maybe have the local Girl Scout troop volunteer to chop to them down.

However distracting two “tos” can be, this doubling is not to be blamed on Palin. The finger is to be pointed at the copyeditors and proofreaders at HarperCollins for letting this slip through.

In the last year alone saw her home go into foreclosure and watched a number of legal proceedings against her and her business wend their way through Idaho’s courts.

You can get the meaning of this sentence as it is, but it could read a lot smoother. Try this instead:
“The last year alone saw her home go into foreclosure…” Or: “In the last year alone, she saw her home go into foreclosure and watched a number of legal proceedings…”

You get the idea. It seems that the author of this piece had two sentences in her head at the same time and attempted (unsuccessfully) to combine them. You can read the article here.

Apparently Michael Pollan wrote:

If I crossed two corn plants to create a variety with an especially desirable trait, I could sell you my special seeds, but only once, since the corn you grew from my special seeds would produce lots more special seeds, for free and forever, putting me out business in short order.

Surely what Pollan was trying to say was, “…putting me out of business in short order.” Yes, that looks much better.